Should have Been
by Rochelle B
Summary: (A Pack Fic)When Sirius was taken away, Remus was left with a life altering secret and a choice he fears to make. When Sirius comes to stay for the summer he confronts the son, and family, he could have had. [Complete]
1. A Dog, A Werewolf, and Puppy

Should Have Been V.2  
  
I don't own Remus or Sirius. Life sucks, lets move on  
  
Warnings: Slash, angst, sap, MPREG, and AU.   
Pairings: SB/RL and a little SS/RL.   
Summery: When Sirius was taken away, Remus was left with a life altering secret and a choice he fears to make. When Sirius comes to stay for the summer he confronts the son, and family, he could have had.

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Chapter One

The Werewolf, the Dog, and the Kid

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June 11th 1995, Wolves' Den  
  
Sirius Black trotted along the cobblestone pathway, panting lightly. He'd been going like this for the better part of the day, but he was eager to get where he was going.   
  
Though, to be honest, he was a little agitated at the moment. But who could really blame him, he'd been forced to leave his godson, one of the few people he could honestly say he cared about, in the care of Muggles he knew weren't worth half the trouble they caused Harry, after the resurrection of Voldemort and the death of a Hogwarts student.   
  
He knew Dumbledore had his reason, he knew they were probably good reasons, but Sirius didn't like them. He'd done as ordered though, had searched out all of the members of the old gang and, after being threatened with death a few times, told them everything from how he had failed Lily and James to Peter's betrayal to Voldemort using Harry to gain a new body.   
  
And he still couldn't go to Harry and keep him safe; he had one more place to go before he would go to his old home. He hated it, not knowing how and where Harry was. What kind of godfather was he if he couldn't keep Harry safe at all?   
  
But…there was a small upside. He was going to see the other person he cared about, his…well he was hoping for friend at the moment. He knew it was going to take a very long time before they got where they had once been, but he was willing to wait as long as it took. He wanted Remus like he wanted to kill Peter and shield Harry from his destiny.  
  
And since he wasn't going to be doing those last two for a while he might as well concentrate on Remus and fixing everything he'd messed up over the years. It was partly his suspicion of Remus that had caused him to go to Peter to take over the position of secret keeper. It seemed so stupid and trivial now.   
  
He'd suspected his own lover and best friend of being a traitor, a Death Eater, and had gotten Lily and James killed, Harry orphaned, and himself locked away and nearly driven insane because of it. He couldn't even remember why he'd been suspicious of Remus to begin with, just knew he had made the biggest mistakes of all time because of it.   
  
He wondered if Remus knew. Had he wondered over the past year why he'd chosen Peter and not him? He hoped not, he wasn't sure he could even start to explain it to Remus and not want to crawl under the nearest rock…

He couldn't even explain it to himself without guilt gnawing away at him.   
  
He stopped at the front door of the house. It looked the same, everything did really. The grass was a little overgrown and the bushes were choked with vines that also crept up the sides of the house and blocked the light out of the windows. And at the very top was the room they'd been in the process of re-doing for when Harry came over.   
  
It was kind of funny how they, him, Remus, James, Lily, and even that bastard Peter, had doted over Harry. If things had gone differently they would have spoiled that child rotten and never thought another thing of it. He remembered how when they'd tried to paint the room, a pale blue if he remembered it right, they'd ended up with pain all over each other and the windows and the floor, but only a few strokes on the walls.  
  
He missed things like that.   
  
He wanted to get them back.   
  
He was about to change back to his human form when the memory of the last time he'd been here crept up on him.   
  
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November 1st 1981, Eden's Court. Around 1 AM   
  
Remus opened the door, eyes half open and stared at his boyfriend of over five years and sighed. "Why didn't you just use your key Siri?"   
  
"Lost it." Sirius stared at him and realized that Remus didn't know yet. Figures, if Remus didn't hear it from him or James he was totally in the dark about everything going on around him. Things like the paper and the radio just seemed to go over Remus' head.

And he wasn't going to be hearing anything else from James ever.   
  
And it was his fault. He'd trusted that rat, trusted him with something more important then his own life, and he'd betrayed them. He clenched his fist, wishing he could just hit something. Then he noticed Remus was a little more awake and staring at him oddly.   
  
"What's wrong?"   
  
"Remmie I…" Golden brown eyes blinked imploringly. He closed his eyes for a moment then leapt forward, pushing Remus back against a wall and claiming his lips in a brutal kiss. Remus yelped then went still against him, letting his eyes drift shut while Sirius devoured him mouth.   
  
He had no idea what had brought this on, but he wasn't the type to argue when Sirius was acting like this. …He was twenty-three; he couldn't help but be horny most of the time.   
  
Though…this was what had gotten him into the mess he was currently in to begin with wasn't it? Damn Sirius and his…

He moaned when his lover's lips found his neck and nipped and suck fiercely, possibly drawing blood. For a moment his mind went blank.

Yeah, damn _that_.   
  
"Sirius, wait, I-"   
  
"Later." Sirius murmured, pulling him away from the wall and over to the couch. He was pressed down and then Sirius' weight settled on top of him. He caught a glimpse of wild black eyes in the darkness and was taken aback by the pure need and desperation he found there. He blinked then settled back into the couch, telling his common sense to shut up.   
  
Whatever was going on Sirius would tell him about it later, he was sure of it. No secrets between them, except for the obvious ones. He could give in for a while and act responsible later one. (Oddly enough, this was hardly the first time he'd thought such a thing, and it was sure not to be the last. Sirius just had that effect on him.)  
  
So he did. Things went by with amazing speed, kisses and teeth, hot breath and skin everywhere, and that ache. The incredible carnal ache he loved so much, because it was Sirius that caused it.   
  
It was over as quickly as it had begun and Remus was yawning, desperately fighting off sleep. Sirius was hovering over him, watching him with a small half-smile that spoke of sadness and bitterness. Remus tried to rouse himself, slightly disturbed by the seriousness in the other man's gaze, but Sirius nuzzled his neck and spoke quietly.   
  
"Go ahead to sleep. I'll tell you later." Remus nodded and curled up against him, falling asleep quickly. Sirius watched him for a while; just taking in the calm handsome face of his lover then slipped onto the floor and started to collect his clothing.   
  
He would take care of Peter and then he would explain everything to Remus. He…he had just wanted to be with him one last time before Remus hated him as much as he already hated himself.  
  
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Present   
  
The door opened, startling Sirius a little bit. He looked up, expecting to see Remus, but was surprised. A boy, who looked to be about Harry's age, was standing there, staring back at him. His hair was dark, but his eyes light. He also looked a little like Remus, the bone structure and that confused look that Remus had perfected years ago.

He blinked and looked around. Clearly he hadn't expected to find a dog outside.   
  
But Remus didn't have any children…did he? Dumbledore wouldn't have sent him if he knew Remus was married with children, not even Dumbledore was that strange. Maybe he was just a relative, Remus did have a brother and a sister, or Remus had sold the house. Maybe…  
  
"Dad!" The boy shouted over his shoulder then gave Sirius another strange look. "There's a dog at the door."   
  
Footsteps and a painfully familiar scent came towards the door. His once lover and friend appeared behind the boy, shoulder length hair held in a messy ponytail and a worried expression on his face. He stared at Sirius for a full minute then cursed quietly. The boy raised an eyebrow.   
  
"Dad-"   
  
"Go put some water for tea on." Came the very soft reply. "Then get your broom and go out."   
  
"So…I'm not grounded anymore?" The boy seemed surprised, to say the least of the matter. Remus smiled fondly and rolled his eyes.

"No, you aren't."

"Thanks Da." The boy said before running into the house.  
  
"You might as well change back, he's allergic to dog fur. Don't even get me started on the irony of that, please." He turned and started inside, glancing over his shoulder once before vanishing into the kitchen. Sirius hesitated a moment then regained his form and walked after him, preparing himself to have his heart tramped on and witness how happy his friend was with his family.   
  
Remus had probably picked a good wholesome girl, pretty and sweet, who'd never been in serious trouble a day of her life. He'd found someone good and…perfect. Someone who deserved Remus. Someone who wasn't him, who'd been nothing but trouble since the day he was born.

In fact most people said it was only a matter of time before he got arrested. The people he'd considered friends, not a one had bothered to show up at his sham of a trail. Too ashamed of him most likely.   
  
Remus hadn't been there, but he didn't blame him. He couldn't have blamed Remus even if he wanted to.   
  
Remus was in the kitchen, alone, and taking down mugs, that same frown on his lips. He looked at Sirius for a few moments then sat at the kitchen table, motioning to the seat across from him.   
  
"Did Dumbledore tell you I was coming?"   
  
Remus nodded slowly. "I just…wasn't sure when to expect you. And I've been busy with…uh…him. He's a bit of a handful when he wants to be. Expelled from Brookridge Academy, which I don't mind so much since there was nothing but snotty, self-important brats there anyway, but I still feel like I shouldn't let him know I don't care. I think that'd be bad parenting."   
  
He glanced out of the window, biting his lower lip, and Sirius followed his gaze to see the boy was standing out there with a broomstick in hand. His hair was long and held back in a tight braid that came to about mid-back. It was inky black and the parts where it was coming out of the braid were curled slightly. He was tall, or would be when he was finished growing. Right now he had the thin lanky look that reminded Sirius of Ronald Weasley.   
  
"I wasn't sure how to…explain how I had just…gotten a son. And there hadn't really been a good time to tell you anything, you know? With you on the run and me only seeing you for a moment."

Remus looked a little flustered and guilty. Sirius frowned. Why should Remus feel guilty, he was the one that had messed things up after all. He hadn't expected Remus to wait around for him for twelve years. Sure, he'd wanted him to, but he hadn't expected him to.

For all Remus had known, he'd been guilty and was going to be in prison his entire life. Hell, as far as Sirius had known, he'd be in Azkaban the rest of his life.

"What's so hard to explain? You got married and had a son." Sirius shrugged, trying to mask his hurt. And it did hurt.   
  
"I'm not married." Remus said, folding his hands on the table. "Nor am I living with anyone, except for him. He doesn't even know who…I mean…it doesn't come up. I always thought it would, eventually, but it hasn't." 

Sirius had to smile. Remus always had a tendency to babble when he was nervous. Apparently age hadn't done anything to ease that.

"How old is he?" 

He had to assume Remus had a good reason for not telling his son who his mother was. Remus was always practical that way; everything he did had a logical reason behind it.

"He'll be fourteen in March."   
  
Sirius blinked, trying to do some mental math. (Math had, sadly, never been his greatest area in school) The boy was thirteen now…he was born in 82. So…he was conceived around July of 81. Which is when he'd been with Remus. 

"Whose his mother?" He fought to keep his tone neutral, though suddenly he wished he hadn't come here at all. Maybe he hadn't thought he'd be welcomed with open arms, but he'd entertained the prospect.   
  
"In the general sense of the word he doesn't have one, but technically I guess I am." Remus ran his fingers through his hair then sighed. "I might as well be honest. I just never thought I was going to have to do this. I knew I'd have to tell him eventually, but I never thought I'd have to tell you."   
  
"What're you talking about?"   
  
"I named him after you. Snape thought I was high on painkillers at the time, but I really did name him after you. Don't know why, I was furious with you at the time, because you had left me like that and weren't even there to help me name him."   
  
"You named your son after me?" Sirius asked, confused. "And why were you high on painkillers?"   
  
"Because childbirth is a bitch." Remus deadpanned. Sirius blinked. "Come on, I know your intelligence is a debatable subject, but you should be able to figure this one out."

"Wait, my intelligence-"

"He's your son. With me." Remus said slowly, lips quirking. He'd always had the oddest sense of humor.  
  
Sirius just stared at him. Remus looked at his hands, obviously waiting for his former lover to say something. Sirius mouth opened but no sound was forthcoming so he shut it again and shook his head a little in disbelief.

Then, finally, he spoke.  
  
"Are you sure?"

"Sirius!" Remus looked offended and Sirius winced. "I can't believe you'd even ask me that. I may not have been perfect, but you can't think I'd cheat on you."

Well, something had changed. He had never known Remus to raise his voice before.

"Sorry, Remmie, I'm sorry." He held up his hands in a soothing gesture. "I shouldn't have…that wasn't what I meant to say. I'm just a little surprised is all."

"Well imagine how surprised I was." The brunette muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. He did look less upset though, so Sirius put down his hands and shifted in his seat anxiously.

A son. …He was still having a problem wrapping his mind around that concept.

"When did you…find out?"

Remus looked at him and shrugged. "I found out a week before Halloween. Lily knew, she went to the doctor with me, and I assume James knew, but I was going to tell you, so we could decide what to do. …It didn't work out that way though." 

"No, I imagine it didn't." Sirius sighed and shook his head. He wondered if that was what Remus had meant to tell him that night.

"And I never thought to have someone tell you. Wouldn't have done much good, except make things worse for you."   
  
"I might have broken out sooner if I had known." Sirius said more to himself then Remus.   
  
Remus flashed him a small smile "I don't doubt it."

"I…fuck. Remus…we have a kid."   
  
Remus nodded. "The novelty wears off once they hit puberty and go into that teenage rebellion phase. But it has proven to be pretty…decent, when I don't want to kill him. Sadly he seems to have inherited your ability to incite even the most passive of people to violence just by being himself." 

"You say that likes it's a bad thing."

"Well, since he inherited my anti-social tendencies, it is. He's hurting in the friends category. Except for this one kid, who I really don't like…" Remus trailed off and shrugged again.

"…What should I do? What should I say to him?"

"I find a conversation is best started with 'hello'." Remus said, arching an eyebrow.

"No, not that…I mean…God. How do you tell a kid you're his father? …Does he know?"

"He knows he has a father, not a mother, if that's what you mean." Remus said, sitting back in his seat. "But if you mean does he know it's you, then no, he doesn't. Maybe he should hear it from you."

"…You want me to tell him?

"Yes, I want you to tell him. Siri's a good kid; he shouldn't be too upset that his father's a convicted murderer. Knowing him, he might even like it. Better then being a teacher anyway." He brushed a loose strand of graying hair from his eyes. "I…I don't know what to do either. But you're here now, he should know you shouldn't he?"  
  
"I…Remmie, I don't know the first thing about him."   
  
"His birthday is March 10th; he was a few weeks early. He loves Quidditch, has broken his arm and ankle once apiece. He was grounded until ten minutes ago for punching out some kid and getting expelled from Brookridge a few weeks ago. They'll let him return next year, as long as he promises to not let it happen again. He likes to paint and he's good at it, its part of the reason he's in a school like Brookridge. I don't know where the talent came from though." 

Remus frowned, clearly thinking. "He's not easily excited or surprised and he's pretty mellow most of the time, except around the moon, which is when he gets very hyper."

Sirius swallowed. "Is he…?"

"A werewolf? Not exactly." The man offered a slightly lopsided smile. "He's half-wolf. From what I've been able to gather, and trust me when I say there isn't a lot of information of male werewolves who give birth, it's sort of like being born an Animagi from what I've been able to gather. Its really very fascinating…"

"Does he know you talk about him like a school project?" Remus just blinked at him and Sirius sighed, shaking his head. "I…don't know Remus, he might hate me. I'm not nearly as charming as I used to be."   
  
"He might." Remus agreed. "And you were never half as charming as you thought you were, believe me."

Sirius ignored that and frowned. "He might? What kind of encouragement is that?"

"The truth." Remus said primly. "Either way, this is a start."   
  
"A start?"   
  
"Back to the family you could have had." Remus said softly. Sirius knew that the sudden…joy he felt at those words showed on his face, because Remus smiled slightly. "I'm not promising anything Sirius but…well, I know its not going to be like it was before. Can't be, but I think I want to try anyway. And if nothing else we have a son, so it's worth a shot."   
  
Sirius nodded, understanding. He hadn't expected anything easy. "I still love you Remus."   
  
Remus ran his fingers through his hair then smiled. "I know."   
  
Sirius stood up then headed for the door that lead out of the kitchen into the back field, feeling a good deal more confident. "And I don't think there's any water in the kettle."   
  
Remus glanced towards the stove, where the kettle was indeed sitting on the fire, and rolled his eyes. "It wouldn't be the first time. He's easily distracted sometimes. I'll talk to him about it later."   
  
"I'll do it." Sirius called over his shoulder. He couldn't miss the sound of Remus snorting, as if he found that amusing.


	2. Memory Lane Sucks

Should Have Been

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Chapter Two:

Memory Lane Sucks

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Sirius stood in the field for a moment just watching the boy fly around. He wasn't that high off the ground, even though there was no one within miles to see him. That was the thing about this place, which was technically something Sirius had given to Remus a long time ago. It was out of the way and no one would accidentally stumble across it or see something they shouldn't be seeing. But it was also close to the small Muggle town, so anything they needed was usually only a walk away.

A thick forest, which Sirius also owned (His family may have been horrible people, but being wealthy did have its good points…) surrounded the house and Sirius couldn't help but remember being young and running with Remus on the moon.

He shook away the thoughts and turned his gaze back to the boy.

Siri seemed to have a lot of skill with the broom. (Which, he noted, was an old model…it wouldn't hurt to get the kid something newer.) Then again Remus had said he was a Quidditch player, he shouldn't have been so surprised. Sirius found himself wondering what position he played. He doubted Seeker, he was too tall for that, or Keeper. His height would make him too clumsy to do it well, at least for a few more years.

Sirius found himself wondering about a lot of things he couldn't help but feel that he should know. He'd never really given much thought to children before everything had gone wrong, but he'd been twenty-two and not interested in anything except lying around doing nothing with Remus, sex with Remus, and Remus in general. But he'd known, in some abstract sort of way, they'd be nice to have and that he'd be a much better parent than his ever were.

And in a way he was no better. Hell, his kid didn't even know him.

…this was just a whole new reason to kill Wormtail.

A few minutes passed before the teen noticed him and came back down. He got off of his broom, a slightly confused expression on his face. He tilted his head off to the side and crossed his arms over his chest. His eyes went from blue to gold for a moment, as if hinting at the fact he could take care of himself and that Sirius had better be wary.   
  
"Hi, Siri. I wanted to talk to you."   
  
"Who're you?"   
  
Sirius was silent for a moment. The truth could very well scare the boy…then again not telling the truth wouldn't help the situation any wouldn't. "Sirius Black. I'm a good friend of your fathers."   
  
The boy blinked, blue eyes curious. "I didn't know Da had any friends." He let his defensive posture drop, apparently deciding that if Sirius was a friend of his fathers then there was no threat.

"…Well, he was a little more social once upon a time."

"Really? I never would have thought." Siri toyed with his hair, a nervous gesture Sirius knew he had picked up from Remus. The braid began to come undone. "You know there's a murderer with your name."

"He was framed."   
  
"That's what Da said." He frowned a little, looking all too much like Remus for Sirius' personal comfort. It made it strangely…real to be talking to him. 

He had a son.

Somewhere James was having a laugh at his expense.

"So you're…the Sirius Black then?" Sirius nodded. "Oh. And…you were the dog on the porch then?" Another nod. He had to hand it to this kid, he caught on quickly. "Ah. And you're friends with my dad because…?"

"Your dad was a lot different when I know him."

"He must have been." Siri muttered. "Now he's just over-protective and kind of neurotic."

"…Well, no, that's not new." Sirius admitted. Remus had been big on rules back in school, even if he very rarely made them follow any of them. Sirius hated to admit it, but Remus had been a bit of a push over when they were younger.

He'd grown out of it eventually though.

"Well, as long as it isn't just me." Siri said then looked around, biting his lip. "Why do you want to talk to me?"  
  
"I…because I want to get to know you?" If anything the teen looked more confused then he'd been at first. "Well…Remus said it'd be a good idea and…I agree with him…I guess. In a way."   
  
Siri raised an eyebrow as he spoke. "You make it sound like you plan to be around here for a while."  
  
"Maybe." Sirius said, watching the boy closely. "I hope, but I think it's up to you."   
  
The boy's eyebrows furrowed. "So, you're what, my dad's boyfriend or something? If you are you shouldn't play that I'm too young to know game, my dad's just going to tell me later on anyway. He doesn't keep secrets, its not the way he does things."   
  
"I'm not…I was once." Sirius looked up at the sky. The sun was starting to set and the sky was being tinged with orange and violet. "I wouldn't mind being with him again."

Siri looked at him, gaze hard and searching before he nodded again. "Fine. I approve. You don't have to worry about getting along with me then, I'm not even here that much."  
  
Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Maybe I want to get along with you."   
  
"Why? To look good with my dad? The fact he even let you in the house means my opinion isn't going to change his mind much. He doesn't let many people get this close to me." He brushed a loose strand of hair back. "Don't worry about it."   
  
Sirius was silent for a moment. Siri seemed pretty mature and logical for a thirteen year old. That was either going to make it easier or a lot harder.   
  
"That isn't why I want to get along with you Siri." He said finally. The teen blinked him, confused again. "I'm not really sure how to…tell you this."   
  
Siri crossed his arms over his chest. "Tell me what?"   
  
"You're dad and I…we were together until I got thrown is Azkaban. You were born a little after that. I didn't even know you existed until I saw you at the front door." Sirius knew he was babbling. But how did you tell someone you're their father?  
  
Siri seemed happy enough with the knowledge he had, he could be fucking up the boy's entire life by even being here. Maybe if he'd had a little warning from Dumbledore or Remus had told him last year or…anything. If he'd had time to think about this maybe he'd know what he was doing. But he had no idea how to be a father.   
  
Siri was watching him, blue eyes guarded. He was clearly waiting for Sirius to finish what he wanted to say, but the man had to admit he had the strange feeling the teen already know.

"I'm not really sure how to say this."   
  
"…You're my father." Siri's tone was quiet and calm, belaying the frantic look in his eyes. Sirius nodded and Siri made a choked noise. His hands clenched into fists at his side and he looked at the ground, not saying anything for a few, impossibly long moments. Sirius just watched worried but not sure what he could say.

Then Siri looked up, black bangs half hiding his eyes. He unclenched his hands and licked his bottom lip before nodding.

"Yeah I thought so." More of his braid came unraveled under his rapidly moving fingers. "I know it was supposed to be a secret, to protect me, but Da's not exactly great at the secret keeping thing. That's why he doesn't keep them from me."

"So you know."

"I had an idea." Siri corrected. He looked around again then sat down at the base of the tree. Sirius followed suit. He had to admit; he found the teen interesting already. "I mean…things add up, you know? Dates, the interest the Headmaster of Hogwarts has in me, the name…"

"I wish I could say you inherited my naturally crafty mind." Sirius said, cracking a smile. "But that would be a lie."

That sounded like something Remus would have done. Gathering together facts and figuring things out, as opposed to just weaseling the information out of other people, that was.

"Yeah. That and the fact Tonks told me." Siri said, smiling impishly.

Or not.

Sirius laughed and nodded. "Of course she did. I'm sure she thought the idea of having a baby cousin was too good to pass up. She isn't the type to let a silly thing like a deep, dark secret stop her."

"Don't tell Da though, he's already a little worked up about how much we have in common and how well we get along." Siri pulled his legs up to his chest and rested his chin on his knees.

"Remus sounds like Tonks' mother. She was always telling me I was a horrible influence on her. It was true of course." Sirius conceded.

"Tonks is great." Siri said as if to put Sirius' mind at ease. He didn't have to; Sirius knew that his cousin was nothing if not a great cousin. As long as the teen was careful to not call her by her first name, there would be no problems.

"She said you couldn't have known about me, because you wouldn't have let yourself be taken away." Siri added, looking at him.   
  
"Remus never got a chance to tell me." Sirius confirmed.   
  
"Right" Siri looked away, ducking his head, suddenly looking shy. "Because of what happened. I never thought I'd be…meeting you, I guess. Hi?"   
  
"Hi." Sirius returned, allowing a small smile before he frowned again. "I'm sorry that I was…well in prison. Wasn't exactly something I had planned on at the time? I should have been here/"

He meant it; he really wished he'd been there to see Siri grow up. Who wanted to miss their son's entire life? Though it looked like Remus had done a great job without him. He probably would have been a horrible parent anyway…  
  
It looked the mistakes he made just kept compiling. He'd missed out on Harry's life, had doomed him to live with those Muggles, and had missed his own son's life as well. He was just striking out all over the place it seemed.   
  
Siri shrugged. "S'not your fault."   
  
"Yes, it is. I screwed up and now I'm paying for it. And I've made a lot of other people suffer because of it." He closed his eyes for a moment then opened them again. Siri was watching him closely and he sighed. "Its not right that I missed your whole life."

"So? There are, fundamentally, a great deal of things that just aren't right." Siri sounded oddly philosophical, before his nose wrinkled in thought. "I can't remember where I heard that."

"Sounds like something cryptic Dumbledore would say."

"Maybe."   
  
-----------------------------

Remus watched as his son and Sirius sat and talked. He had to fight the urge to go out there with them. Sirius was Siri's father; they would be fine without him watching over them like some kind of insane mother hen. 

He really had to be less protective. His son was, as Siri so readily pointed out, growing up. Rapidly actually, he was already eye-to-eye with teen. At the rate he was going he would probably be much taller than him or Sirius.

Siri wasn't his little cub anymore.

Then again he'd nearly lost his son to…just about everyone. His own parents had tried to take Siri from him, Sirius' family had made their presence known more than once in the past 14 years, and even his friends had voiced concern, so he couldn't be blamed for being paranoid.   
  
But there was a huge difference between Sirius and his parents. He liked Sirius. He and his parents hadn't really been on speaking terms since he'd come out to them in his sixth year and he hadn't even given then a second thought since they decided they could care for Siri better then he could. Considering how he'd turned out, they had to excuse him for being skeptical about it.

The same went for Sirius' family. Sirius had been more or less tossed out and forgotten by the lot of them, and the worthwhile three had known of Remus' condition. The others had found out from his parents, of all possible people, so they could discuss the best possible options for his child. (Naturally these plans didn't involve Remus.)

Since Siri was pureblood and from two very old and prominent families (the importance of which was very debatable…) they thought that he should have a 'good and proper' upbringing. Which he couldn't have possibly done.   
  
That was part of the reason he hadn't even told them he was pregnant until the very last possible chance, when he'd needed to find out how it could have happened to begin with.   
  
Their reaction had been funny though. Not at all like what he got from Poppy, McGonagall, and Dumbledore, those had been down right frightening. It had been his own fault though, for behaving the way he had been.   
  
He had been dumb then, after Sirius had been captured. Instead of dealing, at least for the sake of his child, he'd buried himself in self-pity, had barely eaten, and shut himself off from the world. It was almost scary to think what could have happened to Siri if he hadn't been forced to snap out of it.

It was, all these years later, very hard to believe he hadn't wanted his son once.

--------------------------  
December 23rd 1981  
  
Remus groaned softly and tried to push himself into a sitting position. Where the hell was he? He knew he wasn't at home, he knew for a fact this wasn't his bed, and he wanted to know why. His head was pounding and the effort of moving made him feel sick to his stomach. He shut his eyes and tried to quell the feeling.   
  
Just when he thought he was getting over the morning sickness.   
  
"Mr. Lupin." A stern voice said, making him wince. What the hell was going on now? He'd been taken out of his house and now the head of his old house was scolding him. Just when he had been sure he'd struck rock bottom.

He sighed and cracked open an eye. "Professor."

"It's nice to see you awake. Would you care to explain the state your in?"   
  
"Not really." He croaked, voice dry. He swallowed and took in the three people standing around him. Madam Pomfrey, Professor McGonagall, and Professor Dumbledore were standing around him. He was in the Hogwarts Infirmary. That was great.

For once Dumbledore wasn't smiling and instead wore a look of concern and disappointment. McGonagall was stern as usual, but a trace of fear and concern marked her features.   
  
Madam Pomfrey looked mad enough to kill. She took her job far to seriously in Remus' honest opinion, but he wasn't going to be the one to tell her that. He didn't fancy the idea of her nagging him to death, which he was sure she could, and would, do.

"Young man, I'm sure things haven't been easy as of late, but that's no excuse to not take care of yourself. You're running a fever, suffering from dehydration, and I doubt you've bathed in a week." The nurse said, crossing her arms over her chest. "And that's just what I've observed, I haven't even had time to do a examination of you yet."  
  
"Two days." Remus corrected. "I can't not bathe, my sense of smell is too sensitive."   
  
She growled, apparently not at all amused, before forcing him to lie back in the bed. He complied, not in the mood to fight with the woman.

His stomach hurt to be honest. He touched his abdomen, which was starting to grow a little now, on pure instinct then sighed. He knew he should ask about the baby but he found as long as he knew no one else knew it wasn't really so bad and he could...forget.   
  
"Remus, when was the last time you ate?" McGonagall asked, tone less harsh then he could ever recall it being before.   
  
He shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't really been hungry." Which was far from true, he felt like he could eat everything in his house and still be hungry, but he didn't really want to get out of bed much.   
  
"Remus." Dumbledore frowned at him seriously. "You know you should take better care of yourself, if not for yourself then because of the condition you're in."   
  
He blinked. Figured that Dumbledore knew, he seemed to know every damn thing. Point out that poor little Remmie was dumb enough to get himself knocked up to get him to behave right?

It had always been the same. Pressure on him to do the right thing from his parents and teachers, pressure from his friends to ignore his responsibilities… People always wanted him to have so much responsibility. He'd never asked for any of this.

He didn't want any of it anymore.

He simply didn't care. 

Or, at least, he wanted to not care.   
  
He snorted. "My condition? What makes you think I care about my condition? Maybe it would be a lot easier to get over this if it would just go away, maybe I don't want it! It's bad enough Sirius left me like this; I shouldn't have to care if I don't want to! It isn't fair!" He felt tears prick his eyes, wondering what Sirius would think of this, if he could see him now, crying like a child.

Not that would matter.   
  
Sirius had betrayed him, left him alone with a child, a family that hated him, no friends because they were all dead, and no money…hadn't even told him goodbye or sorry. Hadn't even had the common courtesy to kill him too, because it was better to let Remus suffer for the rest of his life.

It was probably much more satisfying for him.   
  
And Dumbledore was talking about his condition? He was carrying the spawn of Satan as far as he was concerned. And it wasn't fair.   
  
Dumbledore sighed. "No, Remus it isn't, and I'm sorry this is the way you feel about it.

"Well how do you think I should feel about it?" Remus asked, bitterness coloring his tone. "He betrayed me. He's killed everyone I ever loved and now I have this…thing growing inside of me. Do you expect me to be happy?"

"I would have thought that you would be able to see past the bad and see the potential for good that may arise from this." Remus laughed, despite the fact the world was becoming blurred with tears.

"_Good_? What good?"

"I understand how you must feel-" McGonagall started.

"Somehow I doubt that." He muttered, shaking his head. He was suddenly very tired, and not just psychically. He was tired on the inside, the weariness went bone deep and even being angry or upset took far too much out of him. "It doesn't matter. If I could rid myself of this child, I would. But every doctor I've seen said they wouldn't dare do it because I'd probably die in the process. Ethics or something of that nature."

"I would hope so." Pomfrey said, sniffing. "As rare as a conceiving male is, to add werewolf biology on top of that would make trying to…remove the child a move only a back alley butcher would make."

"Not even." Remus said, frowning. "I won't keep it."

"That is your choice to make and it isn't my place to convince you otherwise." Dumbledore said and Remus could almost feel the sadness that radiated from the man. "But for your own safety, and that of your child, I'm binding you to Hogwarts until I feel you can live on your own. You're more then welcome to give up the child, but I won't allow you to make it suffer for something it hasn't done just because you think life isn't fair."

"You can't make me stay here!" Remus protested, sitting up quickly. Pomfrey made a noise that was between distress and disapproval. He turned to glare at her when a sharp pain shot through his stomach. He coughed, breathe stolen from him, and folded in on himself.

"Remus!" Dumbledore sounded alarmed, but Remus couldn't say anything to him. He was busy gasping for air, unable to draw any in for some reason. Another pang of pain and he let out a shout. "Poppy-"

"Yes yes." The woman grabbed Remus by the arm with surprising strong and calloused hands and held him still. Something warm and slimy was forced down his throat. He gagged, but a hand over his mouth kept him from spitting the vile liquid out.

He was released after a moment and coughed loudly. It took him a moment to realize that the pain was gone and that the three adults looked very pale.

"Yes, I think it would be best if you remained here." Dumbledore said finally, blue eyes very intense. "Poppy, perhaps you should give him a through looking over."

"Of course." Pomfrey said before turning and walking out of the room.

Dumbledore watched her go then looked at Remus. The way the man was looking at him made him very uneasy. McGonagall however just looked very disappointed.

"I expected better of you Remus."   
  
He winced. "I didn't exactly plan for this to happen. I didn't even know things like this could happen, otherwise me and Sirius would have been more careful."   
  
"I'm not talking about the child, or the fact its Sirius'. I rather think I'd be alarmed if it weren't his child, if you must know. I'm talking about what you're doing." She sighed. "I know it hurts Remus, I've lost four of my favorite students and friends, Black included. I do not want to lose another one." 

"I-" She held up a hand to stop him.

"And I will certainly not presume to know what it is like to have your lover betray you or to carry the child of the one who has helped kill your best friends, but I can tell you this baby has done nothing to you. It didn't choose the timing or force Black to do anything." Remus stared down at the cover on top of him, not sure what to say. "I really expected better from you."   
  
"It's hard." He muttered, closing his eyes. And it was.   
  
"Life, Mr. Lupin, is hard." She said, tone clipped. "And if I hear you've given Poppy any trouble it will get much harder for you."   
  
He nodded, knowing she wouldn't hesitate to carry out such a threat. Looking mildly satisfied she sat in one of the chairs next to his bed and shook her head. Dumbledore stood at her side, hand resting on the back of her chair. No one spoke until Pomfrey returned.

She had a bowl of soup and small vile of clear liquid, which he drank first, under her watchful glare. While he played with the soup she set about casting some kind of charm. He wasn't really watching. It wasn't until she rested a hand on his stomach that he looked up.   
  
A small screen was hovering next to him and he made out a small thing…moving on it. It was hard to tell really, it was in black and while. He blinked and looked closer, trying to figure out what he was seeing. McGonagall was leaning forward in her seat, watching.

"What is it?" Remus asked finally.   
  
"That, Mr. Lupin, is your child." Pomfrey said, frowning some.

"It…looks like a blob. A moving blob."

"Still in good condition, healthy, lucky for you. I couldn't tell you what the cause of your pain was, though I assume it'd have something to do with your unique condition. I suspect you're about four months along, so I'd say you conceived around the…third week of August. Sound familiar?"

Remus frowned for a moment, thinking, then nodded. Sure, they'd probably had sex then. He didn't think it a good idea to go into the details…probably since he couldn't go into any. Hell, he could have been given an exact day, and he probably still wouldn't be exactly sure what had lead up to this.

"You said its okay?"   
  
"Yes." She said as she waved her wand. The image vanished and she stared at him hard. "Eat."

He did as told, eating slowly. For once he really wasn't hungry, but he wasn't in the mood to argue anymore.

"Remus, could you tell us how this happened?" Dumbledore asked. "I must admit I am, for once, at a loss as to how this could have happened."

"Professor," Remus said after a pause. "If you are not aware of how children are made, I hardly think I'm the correct person to be passing that knowledge on to you."

Dumbledore blinked then laughed. "I would think not. Finish eating then got some rest. Minerva and I shall discuss what exactly to do with you while you are here."

Somehow Remus doubted he was going to like whatever it was they came up with.

----------------  
Present  
  
Remus put a hand over his eyes and shook his head. Thinking about the past made him hate himself. He could have hurt Siri by acting that way, killed him before he even had a chance, and he hadn't even cared about it.   
  
Kind of hard to believe he'd gone from that to a slightly obsessive parent. He really couldn't help it; it felt like every time he blinked Siri was doing something else or trying something new and…just growing up on him. And he didn't want to miss of any of it.   
  
He couldn't have any more kids, too many things had gone wrong in his pregnancy with Siri, all of them his fault. He'd still been so depressed, it had taken more then the four months between then and giving birth for him to fully recover, and the complications the fact he was a werewolf had caused, and the risk he'd taken to ensure that Siri wouldn't be as damned as he was.   
  
Then again…it had worked, though at the time no one had even been sure it wouldn't just…kill the baby as soon as keep him human. It was because of Siri he'd started taking to Wolfsbane potion to begin with, not so he could remain safe when he changed. It'd still been in the experimental stage at the time, and Dumbledore had asked Snape to brew it…he'd been far from confident at the time.   
  
But it worked. Though he swore that it had something to do with Siri's fur allergy, and perhaps his unique abilities. …or, that could have just been some odd gene from Sirius' family, considering Tonks.   
  
He jumped at the sound of something pecking on the window. He turned and stared for a few seconds before it truly sunk in that a snowy white owl was there, looking annoyed…if owls could look annoyed. Then again, there were times when he swore Padfoot was grinning so…maybe owls could look annoyed.   
  
At this point Hedwig looked really annoyed so he got up and let her in. She nipped at his fingers, confirming that she was indeed annoyed with him then fluttered over to the table. She seemed more then willing to help herself to Remus' tea while the man undid the note from her leg.   
  
He saw it was for him and Sirius so he set it aside then frowned, as something hit him. Explaining Siri to Sirius had been difficult, but how was he going to just spring it on Harry that he had even more 'family' then he'd probably ever hoped for.

He had been tempted to tell Harry before, when he'd been teaching at Hogwarts as he was sure he and Siri would get along wonderfully, but at first he'd been a bit ashamed and then afraid because Sirius might overhear something and go after their son. And then, when he finally knew Sirius was innocent, he didn't want Harry to know before the other man did.

And, though he was loath to admit it out loud, he wasn't sure he wanted them to meet now. He knew a war was on the verge of breaking out and he didn't want Siri involved with it.

He wasn't how he would accomplish such a thing, but he was going to try at least.

-

-

-

Moony Padfoot Jr: Yeah, I've noticed a lot of Mpreg fics seem to involve daughters as opposed to sons…I wonder why that is…shrugs

Affected Mango: You're better off not remembering, as this story takes a totally different turn. This is actually just one in what has turned out to be a very…extensive series. Oddly enough, this is technically story five or six, but without it being posted first nothing will makes sense…it's so weird, I myself don't get it.

Starfisher: Siri goes to Brookridge Academy, which I stole from my cousin Tai who's helping me with this story. It's a fairly elite pure-blood only Academy somewhere in New Mexico. Technically Remus doesn't have the 'status' to send him, but Siri is the product of good breeding, so they overlook that. But where he goes to school is only important as reference to who his friends are. (Friend, actually…)

Gypsy: I'm glad you like the re-writes. I like them as well, but I guess I'm partial…

Moon Glaze: Again, I'm glad you like this new spiffier version. It should be a fun ride…

Spirit: That is quite the task you're taking on there…Good luck.

De Mort: Thanks.


	3. Slightly Disfuncytional

Should have Been

===================

Chapter Three

Slightly Dysfunctional

===================

Sirius and Siri come back into the house a little after the sun went down, to find Remus pouring over a book, looking thoroughly involved in whatever it was. Siri puttered over to the oven and opened it, looking inside.   
  
"What're you doing?" Remus asked without looking up.   
  
Siri blinked innocently. "Nothing." He shut the oven door and smiled sweetly before noticing his dad wasn't even looking at him. Sirius had to marvel at that. Sure, Remus' senses were good, but that was almost disturbing.  
  
"Really?" Remus raised an eyebrow. Siri was silent for a moment.   
  
"No. I'm going to got get washed for dinner."   
  
"That's what I thought." Remus still wasn't looking at him. Siri shook his head then ran out of the kitchen and upstairs. Remus looked up to meet Sirius' questioning gaze then smiled some. "Years and years of practice."   
  
"Ah. It's creepy."  
  
"I know." Remus looked a little smug, before tilting his head off to the side. "So, what'd you two talk about, if you don't mind telling me?"   
  
"Different things. School, Quidditch…You. We were looking for common ground I guess." Sirius shrugged a little bit. It kind of felt like he and Siri had covered every general 'icebreaker' topic known to man. "There is a lot I don't know about him."  
  
"You've got time." Remus said, offering a small smile as he stood up. "Did you tell any stories I'll need to deny later on?"   
  
"A few." Sirius admitted, walking to the sink. He turned on the water to wash his hands while watching his former lover silently. Remus was taking down plates for dinner and checking on what was in the oven. Remus looked older than Sirius remembered. This was natural of course, but he looked…a lot older.

Remus wasn't even forty and already his hair was graying and his eyes held the look of one who lived far too much. Then again, many of the people Sirius knew had that sad, haunted look.   
  
"Should I even ask?" Remus asked, frowning.   
  
"I'm sure you'll find out eventually. But I wouldn't worry; he didn't strike me as the type to blackmail you or anything. But, given time, I can teach him differently."   
  
Remus laughed and shook his head. "If anyone could, I'm sure its you. But, at present, he's a good kid. Usually…he tries."

The look on his face was one of tired fondness and Sirius imagined he was thinking of some long ago incident. Then Remus looked at him and blinked, seemingly perplexed as to why Sirius was staring.

Sirius smiled. "Are you sure he's ours?"   
  
Remus nodded. "I'd have to say yes. I was there when he was born after all. He was the ugliest child I had ever seen."   
  
"He grew out of it." Sirius said quietly. "He looks a lot like you."   
  
Remus looked a little surprised. "He does? I've never really thought about it I guess. I think I've always been more focused on how much he looked like you." 

"He does?"

"At times. He has the most infuriating self-satisfied smirk I have ever encountered when he knows he's right. It's hard not to think of you when he's like that."

Sirius had to admit he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but Remus smiled at him again and he decided it wasn't bad. Or at least Remus was trying to take the sting out.

"Maybe. In my opinion, he looks every bit as handsome as you were." Remus' cheeks turned pink and Sirius smiled. He still blushed at the faintest hint of a compliment. "And probably just as oblivious as you were. Which worked out rather well for me in the long run."

Remus just shook his head. "I already told you, you aren't nearly as charming as you thought you were Sirius, so quit trying to charm me."

"Now Remmie," Sirius said, standing up a little straighter and walking towards the brunette. "You wound me. Besides, if I weren't every bit as charming as I thought I was, how did I win you over?"

Remus swallowed and took a step backwards onto to bump into the counter. "You didn't win me over, I assure you."

"Oh?" He was close enough to feel the heat from Remus' body, but didn't move any closer.

"Yes." Remus was watching him carefully, golden-brown eyes very serious. "I was in love with you long before you tried to charm me. The only thing that changed was that I knew girls lied, because you weren't half as smooth as you were rumored to be."

"Yes I was." Sirius objected. "Just not with you."

That was, as soppy as it sounded to his own ears, the truth. The girls he'd dated before Remus has all gotten a carefully constructed Sirius, the perfect gentleman and date who know just what to say and do to win his way into a girl's heart.

With Remus he'd never needed it. They had just…fit.

Remus let out a breath then closed the gap between them. Sirius waited, wanting to just grab him and be done with this silly act. He loved Remus, he always had. Nothing could, or would, ever change that. Nothing short of death would, and he doubted that even Death itself could do it.

Then Remus kissed him, warm, wet and pleading. Sirius returned the kiss without hesitation, one hand going to grip the counter behind the other man, while his other hand rested on Remus' hip. One of Remus' arms snaked around his neck and the other man pulled him down some before deepening the kiss. His tongue flicked over Sirius' and for a moment he couldn't help but feel everything was like it used to be.

Except for the thirteen-year-old boy he could see in the window over Remus' shoulder. He broke off the kiss, albeit reluctantly. (Like the kid couldn't have stayed wherever he was for a few more minutes…damn his luck) Remus looked bewildered for a moment, then his gaze flickered and he blushed, again.

"Siri…umm…"

"Ew."

That made Sirius turn and face him. "Ew? What ew?"

"You two, ew." The teen shook his head. "Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"That! With the kissing and…ew." Siri shuddered. "It's weird. I mean…parents…ew."

"Weird." Sirius repeated, looking at Remus, who had recovered from his embarrassment and was rolling his eyes. Sure, he could understand why no kid wanted to see their parents making out. (Blessedly, Sirius had been spared such experiences as a child, since his parents hadn't really liked each other much.)

But still, weird?

"Oh please. How do you think you got here?" Remus asked, staring at his pointedly.

Siri was silent for a moment, then blushed. "I don't believe you."

"Don't believe what part, exactly?" Remus asked. His expression said he was clearly enjoying taunting the teen. Sirius just watched, wondering if he should be taking notes or something. "I'm pretty sure we discussed all of this last year."

"Don't believe you said that, and yes we did. Never again." Siri said, looking genuinely panicked. Sirius found himself wondering what Remus could have said to the teen, since talking about sex had never been something he'd been comfortable doing before.

"You asked."

"I didn't think you'd be so…never mind. I'm going upstairs." Siri said, turning on his heel.

"Siri, get back here." Remus called, not even attempting to smother his grin. The teen ignored him and Sirius could hear footsteps on the steps.

"Do you always torment him like that?"

"Yes. What's the point of having one if you can't make him squirm?" Remus asked evenly. His eyes were dancing with barely contained mirth. "It's revenge for the first year of non-stop crying."

"Well, that makes sense."

"Watch this." Remus said, leaning against the counter. "Sirius Cerberus Lupin, get down here!"

Remus' voice echoed throughout the house and a thick silence followed that and Sirius stared, wide eyed, not at all sure what was going to happen next. A moment later Siri peered into the kitchen, looking very wary. He looked ready to do some serious begging if the situation called for it.

"Da?"

"Make a salad please, and watch the chicken."

Siri stared for a moment, then scowled. "I hate you. I hope you know that."

"I know."

"You aren't playing by the rules." Siri insisted, and then looked at Sirius helplessly. "He isn't playing fairly. We never use the full name unless I'm in trouble, we agreed on that a long time ago."

Sirius looked at Remus who shrugged. "My rules, I can bend them as I see fit." Siri made a gesture that could be considered rude to Remus' back. Without looking at him the werewolf responded: "Knock it off and make the salad before you are actually in trouble."

Sirius quirked an eyebrow. "You're going to teach me how you do that."   
  
"I would but then I'd have to kill you." Remus deadpanned. Siri snickered and Sirius pouted. "You stop pouting, it never worked before and it won't work now."   
  
"You're no fun." Sirius grumbled.

Remus smirked. "Well I'm having fun." He motioned for Sirius to follow him then walked out of the kitchen. Sirius looked back and saw Siri taking things from the icebox and whistling softly. He didn't look even mildly upset.

"Parenthood has made you evil." Sirius observed. Remus chuckled and flashed him a smile over his shoulder.

"I wouldn't go that far."

"Is it always like that?"

"Mostly. The general consensus is I'm a horrible parent because I actually enjoy playing around with Siri, instead of striking the proper amount of fear and respect into him." He shrugged. "I've discovered, however, that if you're always harsh, than they don't take you seriously when they're actually in trouble."

He stopped outside of what Sirius knew was the bathroom and leaned against the doorframe, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Besides, he's all the family I have left. I want to enjoy him, not drive him away like my parents did to me."

Sirius nodded, biting his tongue to stop from pointing out that Siri wasn't all that Remus had. After all, for a long time, Siri had been it. He couldn't expect that to change overnight.

"Anyway, take a bath." Remus straightened up. "When was the last time you cleaned up?"

"Do you want an actual answer to that?" Sirius asked.

Remus peered at him curiously for a moment, and then shook his head. "No, I rather think I don't want an answer to that. If you told me I might regret letting you touch me."

Sirius couldn't help but leer at the brunette. "So after I clean up, is there a chance I could touch you again?"

Remus flushed. "Pervert."

"…yes." Sirius nodded his agreement.

--------------------------

When Sirius was done and redressed (apparently Remus hadn't thrown out everything he'd owned, since he remembered the worn black jeans and black _Crystal Fire _t-shirt very well. He'd gotten the shirt at the concert he and Remus had gone to after they'd started dating.) he walked into the kitchen to find Siri sitting on the table and chucking vegetables at Remus, who was laughing and throwing croutons. Sirius stood, watching them. 

Siri was laughing so hard his face was red and Sirius was willing to guess most of the vegetables he'd cut were on the floor and not in the bowl of salad next to him. Remus however, while also laughing, looking much more calm and was eating more bread pieces than he was throwing, but also seemed to be hitting the teen more than the teen was hitting him.

Then Remus noticed him and smiled while popping another crouton into his mouth. "It's a good thing you're done. Any longer and there might not have been any salad left."

Siri nodded his agreement as he got down into a seat.

"Well, I've been told I have great timing."

"…By who?" Remus asked, looking skeptical. Sirius ignored the question and sat at the table.

They ate, neither he nor Remus saying much. Siri was talking about school. From what Sirius could gleam he had one really good friend named Chase, who Remus didn't like at all, and he played Seeker for his house. When Sirius looked surprised Siri snickered and explained that he'd tried as a Chaser originally, but his eyesight was very good so, even if he didn't have the right build, he made a better Seeker.

"Besides, our Keeper's a skinny midget and he's easily the best our schools ever seen."

"I would hardly call Chase a midget."

"He's sixteen and there are second years bigger than he is." Siri countered. "I think he's a midget."

"Well, as long as you don't tell him that."

"Why would I tell him? Its not like he doesn't already know it." Siri said, grinning. He stood up and took his plate over to the sink. "That reminds me, he sent an owl yesterday-"

"He can't come here." Remus said, turning slightly to look at him.

"I'm aware." Siri rolled his eyes. "Chase may be a little off, but somehow I don't think he'd take 'oh, by the way, the escapee kissing my da is my father, but don't mind him', well. He wants to know if I can go over there."

"Well…" Remus hedged.

"_Da._"

"Fine." Remus said, nodding.

Siri left, smiling, leaving the two men alone. Sirius watched the other man silently. Remus had changed, he decided, but only in the best ways. He looked older, wiser, and a little jaded, but was still Remus. His sense of humor was better (as in he finally had one) and it looked like, in spite of everything, he was really enjoying himself without being self-conscious. 

Sirius liked that. Remus had cared too much about what other people thought when they were young, and spent too much time trying to please everyone around him. He'd been a bit of a doormat back in school.   
  
"Sirius?" Remus asked quietly, as a little color rose to his cheeks. "What're you looking at?"   
  
"You." Sirius said, looking away from his friend. "I have really missed you Moony."   
  
Remus was quiet for a moment. "I've missed you too."   
  
Sirius looked back at him then smiled a little bit. It would be so easy to just lean across the table and touch him, to hold him, to kiss him again.

And god, he wanted so much for it to be like it had been once. He wanted to be twenty again and wake up at ridiculous hours just because he could, curled up around Remus and have everything be…strangely perfect, in its own way. He wanted to be able to not worry about anything or anyone getting into their way, because they knew everything would be fine. 

He reached over and brushed his hand over Remus' cheek and received no protest from the werewolf. Remus moved into the touch slightly, those his eyes darted towards the doorway for a moment, as if expecting his son to appear. But he didn't, and so those golden eyes returned back to him.   
  
It would have been so easy once, no complications. Remus seemed to know what he was thinking, judging by the sad and wistful look in his eyes. Sirius smiled a little then started to pull his hand back, when Remus caught his arm.

"I…Sirius…I want…shit."

He laughed; surprised that Remus was at a loss for words. The werewolf glared at him balefully then stood up. Sirius knew the moment had passed, but wasn't upset. He really didn't want some overly romantic movie-like moment with Remus; he just…wanted what they'd had before. Nothing fancy or worth talking about. Simply being together.   
  
"Can you go tell Siri he needs to work on his homework while I clean up?"   
  
Sirius nodded and stood up, shaking his head a little bit.   
  
He went up the steps, noting the paintings hanging there. He didn't really look at them, just noticed they were there. He'd never taken Remus for the collecting type.   
  
He got to the top floor and walked down the hall, pass the bathroom and what looked to be Siri's bedroom. There was a light coming the last room, at the very end, so he assumed the teen was in there. He pushed the door open all the way and was assaulted with the smell of paint and fresh air. Probably because of the many half finished things scattered about the room, some painted part way and others still covered in pencil marks. The large window at the end was wide open, letting in the cool night air.   
  
Siri was sitting on a stool, staring at something. He barely turned when the door opened.   
  
"Da…oh. Welcome to my head." There was a note of amusement mingled with seriousness there. The boy turned all the way around and smiled some. "Or at least that's what Dad calls it."   
  
"I take it you got my attention span." Sirius gestured at the canvases. Siri smiled some.   
  
"That explains a lot actually." He set down the brush he was holding and tilted his head off to the side. "My dad didn't send you up here to find out why out won't let him up did he?"   
  
"No." Sirius stopped to consider that. "At least I don't think he did. Why won't you let him up?"   
  
"Christmas gift. I figured if I start now I'll be done by then. And if I'm not then there's always his birthday and fathers day…next Christmas." He made a dismissive gesture with his hand. "I plan to finish this one though. I think. I hope."   
  
"Can I see?"

"Nope." Siri stood up and, with a cheeky grin, started pushing him towards the door. "It's one of the rules, few and far between as they are. No one over the age of twenty is allowed in this room."

"Fine, I'm going." Sirius laughed and moved away from the teen. "Remmie wanted me to tell you to come and do your summer work."

"Of course he did." Siri shook his head. "It's June, you'd think he'd let me sit around for a few weeks before making me do stuff."

"Remus has always been that way. I think he likes to nag."

Siri nodded his agreement. He ducked back into the room for a moment and grabbed a pile of books and parchment then walked out, pulling the door shut behind him. They went downstairs and into the living room where Remus was once again looking over his book, this time writing things as he went. A cup of tea sat next to him, and two more sat on the coffee table. Siri sat on the floor by the coffee table and opened one of his books while reaching for his mug.   
  
"Why're your books covered in paint?"   
  
Siri scratched his head. "Would you believe I don't know?"   
  
Remus smiled. "Sadly, yes I would."   
  
Siri was obviously thinking about that, not sure if he'd been let off or insulted, while Sirius laughed quietly. Siri frowned then shook his head. Remus smirked then returned to his book. Sirius watched the both of them for a moment then walked to the bookshelf on the far wall to see if he could find anything worth reading.

It would come as a shock to most people, but he actually enjoyed reading. He let his fingers drift over the spines of the books, finding himself a little surprised to see that most of the old titles he'd owned were still there. Once again, he couldn't believe that Remus hadn't just thrown everything out.

Almost as if the other man could read his thoughts, Remus spoke. "We haven't lived here that long. Three years I think. After Siri was born, we had to leave. First the Ministry wanted to go through everything, hoping to find some sort of clues as to who had worked for Voldemort, then your family decided to sue me for the house, when they were forced to acknowledge that they had no legal claim on Siri."

"No legal claim?" Sirius asked, finally settling on one of the Muggle mystery novels he'd liked. It'd been a long time since he read anything.

"They wanted to take him from me. I can't imagine that, if they'd known what a pain in the ass he was gong to grow up to be, they'd have wanted him so badly."

"I am what you raised me to be." Siri said, pausing in his work.

"What a frightening thought." Remus deadpanned. Siri stuck out his tongue. "I can see you."

"You see everything."

"Well if you know that already, why do you insist on doing things you know I don't want to see?" Siri was silent and, after glancing over his shoulder at the teen, Remus addressed Sirius again. "As I was saying, your family, the less decent members, seemed to think he'd be better in their care than he would be in mine, claiming I had neither the funds nor the mental capacity to raise a child."

"Well, they had one part right."

"Do you want to go back up to your room?"

"Yes." Remus tossed, and hit, Siri with a book. The teen whined and rubbed his shoulder. "Abuser."

"Brat."

"And proud." Remus started to reach for another book but Siri held up a hand. "I'll be quiet now."

"Doubtful." Remus muttered. "As I was saying, with you in Azkaban and not around to legally claim Siri, they couldn't make any claim themselves. The upside was, I got to keep him. The downside was that if you had been able to claim him, I might have been able to keep the house on his behalf."

"So instead we got to live in the worlds smallest and skankiest apartment for eight years." Siri concluded.

"It wasn't that bad."

"Close." Siri muttered, and then held up a piece of parchment. "The Muggle Studies Essay is now officially done."

"Bring it here." Remus said, holding out a hand. "You fuss too much. The apartment wasn't that small, or skanky, and sitting down for ten minutes a night and doing a little work will not be the death of you."

"We lived next door to a prostitute."

"…"

Remus didn't say anything, and Sirius had to wonder if he was acknowledging that as truth, and Siri just smirked while leaning against the desk and waiting for his father to finish checking over the parchment. The werewolf nodded and handed it back. Siri flashed Sirius a smile.

"Having a professor for a father is such a pain."

"Because the gods know having one of Europe's greatest slackers for a son has been the greatest experience of my life." Remus muttered, sounding more sincere than mocking. Siri smiled and rolled his eyes.

"I love you too. G'night Da. See you in the morning Sirius."

With that the teen ran out and Sirius could hear him as he ran up the stairs and overhead. The sound of a door slamming made Remus look up as well, before shaking his head and returning to his own work.

"So my family ran you out of the home I got for us, after trying to take your son from you, probably took any money we had and put it out of reach…anything else I should be aware of?"

"Not really." Remus shrugged. "It was actually beneficial. If it'd gone differently I might have never learned to take care of myself for real. I had to get a job, finish my classes to become a teacher, and take care of Siri, who has this annoying habit of turning into a wolf and hiding in small places. It was a good learning experience. I'm not sure if you were aware, but I had the most annoying rich kid attitude when I was younger."

He'd noticed...

"Still-"

"It's part of why I am who I am." Remus shut his book. "I'm not upset, so you shouldn't be."

"I just…wish it could have been better. I wasn't here and they shouldn't have-"

Remus smiled at him, a kind affectionate smile. "I don't need you to protect me from your family anymore. Or my family for that matter."

Sirius watched him for a moment then nodded. That much was true. Remus didn't need him to keep away those that wanted to hurt him anymore-as the role of protector had been one Sirius took up eagerly when they were younger, having taken an instant liking to the quiet boy he'd met his first year-he'd clearly learned how to take care of himself.

Part of Sirius ached at the thought. What if Remus didn't need him anymore at all?

"Actually, on that subject, there are some things I should probably tell you."

-------------------

Dun dun duh!!!!! lol. Moving on.

Mango: Of course there is more. I'm already working on chapter six, so no worries about lack of fiction anytime soon. And I suppose, in a technical sense, if you had access to my computer you could read the other stories, but in a realistic sense, nope, not yet. Nothing else is going up for a while.

Moony: Why thank you.

Spirit: 22 pairings. Wow. That's pretty impressive actually…

Moonglaze: I'm sure we're all happy Remus realized what he was doing before any damage could be done. Mind you, he now has a guilt complex a mile wide.

TTF: I believe I already addressed your problem.

Blume: Thanks. It's good to have old readers following this new version, and I'm glad you think I've gotten better.

Hecate: Glad you think so.


	4. Things Ain't How They Used to Be

Should Have Been

========================

Chapter Four

Things ain't how they used to be

========================

Sirius didn't like the way that sounded or the very serious look Remus was wearing, but found himself nodding anyway. Seriously, what else could he do except hear what his once-lover had to say to him?

Besides, he kind of owed it to Remus…

"There are things…things I have to tell you about, before anything can happen between us." Remus let out a breath. "A lot of things have changed."

Sirius nodded his understanding, resolving to hear Remus out. He knew, just knew, he wasn't going to like any of what was about to be said, but he'd listen to it anyway. Remus shifted, clearly nervous, then stood up, picking up his cup as he went. Sirius watched silently, yet unable to smother the grin that curved his lips.

As much as things had changed, apparently they were also very much the same. Fidgeting and being unable to just sit and speak was one of Remus nervous quirks. He'd never been able to say anything remotely important while looking someone in the face; it just wasn't in his nature. Sirius wasn't sure what it was exactly, since Remus had always been the 'calm, subdued' one among the Marauders. Yet, when he was worried, his body was possessed by a kind of energy that he just couldn't control until he'd said whatever it was he needed to say.

"I don't even know where I should start." Remus' voice floated from the kitchen. Part of Sirius wanted to follow him, but he knew if he tried that he'd just spend the rest of the night chasing the werewolf around. Better to just sit and let the man speak.

"I find the beginning is always a great place."

A very long pause followed that, and then he heard Remus sigh softly. "Don't be such a smartarse Sirius, it's not very endearing."

"Sorry."

"You are not." Remus muttered, sounding torn between amusement and annoyance. He knew Remus was roaming around aimlessly in the other room, but refrained from watching, though he had always enjoyed watching Remus.

Finally. "I slept with Snape."

That effectively ruined Sirius' resolve. He turned in his seat, staring openly at the werewolf, who was standing in the doorway and blushing bright red. Sirius just stared, finding that he was entirely devoid of…a reaction. His mind had gone totally blank.

Remus bit his lip, fidgeting. "Say something Siri."

"You…and that…grease-ball?" It took a serious effort to get that out, and once it was out the words seemed to hang in the thick silence between them. He grimaced. "I think I'm going to be sick."

"Don't be melodramatic." Remus said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

"I'm not." Sirius said, shaking his head. "I don't…why? I thought you hated him." Snape had surely acted as if he hated Remus in the Shrieking Shack anyway…the anger that man felt towards them was pretty plain.

"Well…I do. And I did." Remus frowned. "But…things were weird for a little while. After I had Siri and was tricked into keeping him-"

"Why were you tricked into keeping him?" He interrupted, feeling as if he was missing an important event. And, if it had lead up to Remus sleeping with that git, he really felt he should know about it.

"Because…I didn't want him." Remus said slowly, crossing his arms over his chest. "I was angry at you. Angry at myself and everyone, including Siri. If Dumbledore hadn't stepped in I might have lost him before I had him. As it is, I can't have any more children, so I guess I lucked out with him…though that could be a mixed blessing." His lips quirked into a bitter smile. "Who knows what may have happened between Snape and I if I didn't have Siri and had been able to have other kids."

Sirius was silent for a long moment, trying to make sense of that. Remus hadn't wanted Siri to begin with, was tricked into keeping him, slept with Snape and…

"Were you…by Snape?"

"Pregnant?" There was that wry amusement again. "For a time. Miscarried. It was…probably the second worst experience of my life." Sirius really wanted to say he was sorry, really he did, but he found he couldn't say it. He didn't want to lie to Remus.

"Whatever we had kind of…fizzled out. I was depressed, which I've discovered happens frequently, and he was…upset because I couldn't get over you."

-------------------------

December 1984

"Lupin."

Remus cracked open an eye and looked up at the window. He could see the reflection of his lover in the window and let out a shuddery breath. His son, two years old now, was curled up on the bed next to him, thick black hair fanned out around him. Remus twirled his fingers in the strands, frowning.

"Severus."

Being on a first name basis with Snape was odd. Especially since Snape would never make it to a first name basis with him. It was probably for the better, considering how Snape was. Remus doubted he could imagine Snape calling him by anything but 'Lupin'.

"How are you?"

"Me? I'm fine." Snape snorted softly and Remus sighed, curling around his child. Who was destined to be his only child it seemed like. "I am. It's been two weeks Severus, I'm fine. I'm over it. These things happen. When dealing with male pregnancy certain precautions must be taken and when they are future pregnancies will be very difficult and, in some cases, impossible." He wasn't crying, he wasn't crying. Fuck. "Its probably for the better, I'm not exactly the world's best father, what with all the 'accidents'."

His son's hair, he realized, was getting wet. He rubbed at his eyes.

"That was very calm and logical Lupin, I'm impressed. Though the fact it's all bullshit you're repeating from Poppy lessens that feeling somewhat."

"Shut up." Remus whispered harshly. "It's the truth."

"I don't understand you Lupin. When you had Siri you were perfectly indifferent and refused to care what happened to him, in spite of how much you care for Black."

"I do not care-"

"Yet this child you lose and I can see how much it hurts you…but its pretty clear whatever you feel for me isn't what you feel for him. Not that I care, particularly, but I can't help but wonder if how much you love him gave you the strength to hate his child so much."

"Are you done with that psychoanalytic shit?" Remus asked, rolling over to face Snape.

The man was dressed in all black, per usual, and his deathly pale skin contrasted with it nicely. Remus wasn't going to lie, Snape would never be the 'heartthrob' that Sirius had been, but he was certainly handsome in his own fashion. If you could get past how cold he could be, you could see that he had good qualities.

__

Too bad he's not Sirius. A traitorous voice in his mind whispered.

He pushed it aside and started picking at a loose thread in the duvet. "I wanted this child. You wanted it. You were happy. Shit, you smiled. The only time you smile is around the kids, but you smiled when I told you."

"I won't lie, I was happy."

"I thought…I thought we could be happy together. I thought this was a chance to forget all of that other stuff. I thought I could give you this child and you'd stop thinking about him."

Him being Sirius. Not his son, of course, but the man. And maybe his son. No matter how close he and Snape may be Remus would always have Sirius Black's son. Maybe he'd hoped a child with Snape would balance it out.

"I have a son." Snape said, tone mild, but Remus could feel the sudden edge it gained. "Possibly two. And, I thought you were aware, I do…love Siri like he was my own. He does tend to grow on you."

Like an extremely cute fungus.

"I know that. Its just…"

"You thought you could make the fact you care more about someone who betrayed you and took everything from you, than you do about me, go away by having my child and making us some perfect family." He laughed and it sounded so harsh that that Remus flinched. Siri stirred in his sleep but didn't wake up. "For someone of such intelligence, your constant idiocy does amaze me. Be realistic. I'm twenty-eight and I've killed people. I've used curses someone like you would cringe to hear spoken about, I've torn people apart and had my hands stained with blood of Muggles and Wizards alike. I had a child with a psychopath and, unfortunately, my relationship luck hasn't improved.

"And you…I don't even know what to call you anymore Lupin...just an insane, depressed werewolf whore, I suppose."

"Unca' Severus! Chase's hittin' me." The agitated voice of Snape's 'nephew' floated through the many halls of the manor. Snape turned, looking down the hallway, then looked back at Remus, who was sitting up now and staring at him. Snape watched him for a moment, silent, then turned and walked away to handle the newest problem his charges were causing.

Remus bowed his head for a moment then drew in a deep breath, trying to keep himself calm. "Siri, wake up." When the toddler didn't stir Remus reached and shook him. Sleepy blue eyes cracked.

"Daddy?"

"Com'n baby. We're going to go visit Grandpa Albus for a little while."

"But…wanna stay wit' Unca' Sna." Siri's bottom lip quivered and Remus growled sharply, really not in the mode. Siri squeaked and then, where the toddler had once sat, was a small black puppy, looking at him with wide blue eyes. He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, before scooping the cub up.

"You can visit Uncle Snape later, promise. But right now Daddy needs to go away."

------------------------

"He called you a whore?"

"He had a point." Remus leaned against the doorframe heavily. "I should have known better from the get-go. You may be a total ass who thinks much too highly of himself, and you may not have been worth half the trouble you put me through, but you are damn near impossible to get over, or forget. And Snape will never be you, and he knew that. I thought if I had a child he'd stay. I tried to trap him."

"I'm sorry." This time he meant it. He hated to think that Remus had been lonely for the past thirteen years because of him. Even Snape would have been better than that. (Not much better.)

"Oh, you are not." Remus snorted. "Anyway, I slept with Snape. Lived with him for about a year and a half after I left the house. We parted badly and went back to mutual animosity. Siri still has this strange fondness for him though."

"…I don't believe you slept with Snape."

"It was Dumbledore's fault. He made me live with him. And I wasn't in my right mind."

"For over a year. Remmie, that's just…wrong."

"Well I know that now." Remus paused. "Though, he isn't so bad. Somebody, someday, who has a limitless amount of patience and doesn't mind sarcasm all day long, will be really lucky."

"Oh, god, I can't believe I'm hearing this." Sirius was pretty sure he was now borderline traumatized. He was going to need years of therapy to wash away the image of Remus, his Remmie, with…that slime ball. He put a hand over his eyes and groaned, shaking his head.

"Well, it was a long time." Remus murmured, scratching his head. "I'm not saint after all."

"But Snape. I'll never be able to look at him and not want to be sick again." (Which, when he considered it, wasn't too much different than how he felt about Snape now.)

"…You're thinking about it? Christ, Sirius, get your over-active imagination under control." Remus was blushing again. He looked torn between horror and embarrassment. "We aren't sixteen anymore you know, you should be able to turn that off."

"I'm trying."

Like he wanted to think about it. He crossed his arms over his chest, feeling a little sullen. He couldn't explain it, but the thought of Snape touching what was so clearly his made…something inside of him stir angrily. It wasn't right, and it wasn't as if Snape hadn't known he'd laid a claim to Remus years ago.

He was shocked Snape hadn't gloated over the affair.

"Stop pouting."

"Remmie its just…Snape. Wait. Snape has kids? Someone else slept with Snape? What the hell is the world coming to?"

Remus shook his head and started to walk away. "I'm going to bed. The guest bedroom is made up."

"…Remmie-" Upstairs had been the guest rooms. The room Siri used as a studio had been the room Lily and James had used, the room Sirius suspected was his bedroom was where Peter had slept, and the attic had been supposed to belong to Harry.

"The study. Siri pretty much rules the second floor and the attic…well, I'm hoping we might eventually use it for what it was intended."

Harry.

Sirius stood up and walked out of the room. The lights went out immediately, while the lights in the hallway came on, only to go out as Sirius passed them.

"Anything else you should be telling me?"

Remus shrugged. "There is plenty I could tell, but nothing I have to tell you. I just thought you should know about that."

"Because I'm so much happier for it." Sirius deadpanned. Remus stopped and turned, frowning at him. Sirius stopped as well, to keep from running into the other man, and arched an eyebrow.

"I told you because I want to be honest with you Sirius, no other reason. You know I still love you and I don't think its right to have huge secrets as soon as you get back. Best to start off with a clean slate, you know?"

"I understand." Sirius said, looking around nervously. He didn't want to upset Remus; really he didn't, but…Snape. The man they'd spent seven years hating and tormenting…and Remus slept with him…lived with him. With their son. "Just…not what I expected."

"I would think none of this is what you expected and…I'm sorry." Remus sighed and took a step away from him.

"For what?"

"Dumping all of this onto you at once."

"Don't be. I'm not. Sorry about all of this, that is." He paused, trying to put it into words. "I mean…it's weird, having a kid, but it's a good kind of weird. Like…it's me and you and…we have a family. Weird though it clearly is."

Remus laughed, leaning against the wall. "Yeah. A family. A werewolf, a dog, and a puppy." He slid down to the floor and bowed his head. "It's fucking brilliant."

Sirius crouched down in front of the other man and Remus glanced up from underneath his lashes. "Are you okay?"

"I think I'm having a nervous breakdown. I wouldn't worry much, this would be my fourth in the past thirteen years."

"That's not encouraging."

"If you think that's bad you should hear my sanity report from the ministry." He laughed again and shook his head. "Today has been a little stressful. But you are reacting much bettering than I thought you were, and certainly a lot better than I am."

Sirius nodded his agreement then frowned slightly. "So…how'd you think I was going to react?"   
  
"I was hoping good but…well optimism was always your strong suit, not mine. I didn't…" He paused, as if he was trying to word it correctly. "I wasn't sure you'd want us…him, after all of this time. More him then me…I think I could have lived if you hated me or didn't want what we used to have but I needed you to want him. You know, after everything…I _needed _you to accept him, at least.

"I was afraid you wouldn't. That you'd look at him and reject him and…I couldn't take that. He's my son and I know I've been dismal in the parenting department, but I felt like I owed him a father. Someone he could look at and claim and say was his father. That's why I couldn't tell you before. I was so…afraid. What would I tell him if you hadn't wanted him? I'm sorry, but you aren't good enough…he's heard so much of that growing up, people looking down at him because of who his parents are, or who they aren't and the fact that he didn't know. At least his parents should accept him, right?

"I owe him so much." Remus trailed off. "So I tried to plan the best way to tell you, and just ended up putting it off."   
  
"Well, it probably would have been a bad idea to just blurt 'By the way, I had your child while you were in jail' in the Shrieking Shack anyway." Sirius said, trying to lighten the sudden darkness that had settled on Remus' face.   
  
"It would have been a bit awkward wouldn't it?" Remus said, looking at his hands. Sirius could tell that his attempt at humor had fallen short.   
  
"I think so." Sirius said. He reached over and put a hand under Remus' chin and forced him to look up. Remus looked a little surprised but didn't pull away. "Wanted to make sure you were paying attention. I want you. I have always wanted you. No less now that we're kind of old and really screwed up, then when we were young and kind of screwed up. And I want our son."

Remus let out a small noise that Sirius took for relief. He would have thought it obvious he was okay with what was going on here, but sometimes Remus needed to hear things…to be reassured. Sirius certainly didn't mind telling Remus that he wanted him. There were worse ways he could spend his time.

"And why would I hate you?"   
  
Remus was silent for a moment then he licked his bottom lip. "Because I didn't try to do anything to help you. I just…believed what everyone was telling me. I never tried to find out for myself and I was so ready to believe you were guilty even though I should have known better."   
  
Sirius surprised himself by snorting. "Truthfully I thought I was guilty for a while. It was…pretty damning wasn't it?" A small ghost of amusement touched Remus' eyes but Sirius could tell the werewolf wasn't going to let go of whatever guilt he had so easily.   
  
Then again, Remus wasn't exactly the only one here that felt guilty about how everything had happened and the things that could have happened. He couldn't help but think that if he hadn't doubted Remus, thought that maybe he couldn't keep their secret if he was living with Remus, then he never would have ended up asking Lily and James to use Peter as their secret keeper. He didn't he'd ever be able to forgive himself for that mistake.

Certainly not now. He and Remus could have had a family. For all he knew Siri and Harry could be great friends and Lily and James could be alive and…a lot of things could be different.

"Did you ever expect to be so completely pathetic before you hit forty?"

"Remmie, I never expected to hit forty. I'm not sure if you realize this…but we're old."

Remus tilted his head back and laughed, loudly. Sirius was silent for a moment, taken aback by the sight of his former lover laughing like that. It was loud and seemed to encompass the irony of his words perfectly.

Sirius wanted to kiss him rather badly.

So he did. He swallowed Remus' laughter, taking the emotion for his own, and long calloused fingers twined in his hair, pulling his closer. What had been hesitant before was now wanting…needing, and Sirius was happy to give.

But he did have to breath so he broke the kiss, gasping. Remus was staring at him; almost as wide-eyed as the first time he had kissed him. He recalled it well, in the library, at the table, in front of at least twenty students. It'd been a chaste closed mouth kiss, but Remus' first and thus…more than what it had been.

"Remmie-"

"I…I have to go." Remus breathed, pushing him away some and climbing to his feet. His wobbled a little bit, looking dazed, then looked down at him and swallowed.

"Wait, Remus," He stood up and put a hand on the other man's shoulder, keeping him from leaving. He could feel Remus' breath against his cheek, as the man was breathing heavily. "Remmie-"

"Sirius, please." Remus looked at him pleadingly. Sirius stared at him and, with a sigh, let his hands drop to his sides. How could he refuse Remus anything? Remus flashed him a small smile then slide past him and walked down the hallway to where their bedroom was…. To where Remus' bedroom was now.

It wasn't really his anymore.

"Siri, you have to understand." Remus was looked at him again golden eyes showing that he wanted Sirius as much as Sirius wanted him. "I'm not ready yet. And if I keep letting you touch me I won't be able to say no."

Sirius' lips twitched. He couldn't help but think that wasn't as horrible a thing as Remus wanted it to be, but the werewolf looked so serious that he had to nod his understanding. Remus nodded back then slide into his bedroom, door shutting softly after him.

Sirius stood, watching the door for a moment, then let out a sigh. This was not going to be easy.

---

---

---

Mango: Yeah, I adored that entire chapter. Got to show off my new 'more grown up' version of Remus and some Da/Son interaction, which was great…lol. I love writing this stuff…

Gypsy: Yep. Once OotP came out I knew I was going to have to scrap the last story and re-do it to make it fit, because we saw a little more of Remmie and a lot more of Sirius, and this gave me more insight into their personalities and…yeah. (Only downside is now my Remus is more prone to nervous breakdowns…)

Lovergirl: Yeah, no one likes a cliffhanger. Sorry.

Moon Glaze: I love the Siri and Remus interaction. I'm trying to work Sirius' personality in there and thus far its working pretty good.

TTF: Basically. They tried to have Remus declared unfit to parents (which maybe he was, its up to debate) and, when they didn't win, tried to claim Sirius' house as next of kin. This went on for a few years and, eventually, they lost and it became rightfully Remus' and/or Siri's.

Alice: Yep, slow and steady makes the fic. They'll make up soon, but don't think that means the issues are over. They both has stuff to work on…they just work on it better together. And trust me, you only think you want faster updates. I update once a week to give myself a chance to stay ahead and, should I hit writers block, to have chapters ready while I sort it out.


	5. Late Night Ruminations

Should Have Been

Note: This part is interesting…it's mostly Remus doing some heavy duty thinking, but we actually get into Siri's (the younger) head for a moment. And I love this Remus so much more than the Remus from the original version of this story. This one is a lot more grown up and…well, he's a little nutty, but mostly he's grown up. Originally Remus was a brat.

And Snape has this long-suffering 'God help me before I strangle this child' attitude that I can't help but love in him. It's so very…domestic.

BTW: I seen to recall one foot equals 30 centimeters. Snape's a bit over six foot, at a bit under two meters, and Chase is about five foot. I keep hoping he'll grow…Never mind. Ignore the rambling of the author.

Chapter Five

Late Night Ruminations

Siri padded out of his bedroom softly, but kept his ears strained for any noises from his fathers. He didn't hear anything, wolf type hearing was a blessing, and walked to his studio. This room was above the guest room and he could hear his…well, father tossing and turning. This wasn't new, Sirius stayed up almost every night since he'd arrived until around one in the morning.

He hadn't asked what plagued the man, as that would mean admitting that he was up late enough to know that he didn't sleep well and his dad would throw a fit. Especially if he knew why Siri was up so late.

He laughed at the thought was he pushed the window open. Yeah, he could see it now, explaining to his dad that he snuck out of the house every night to make out with his best friend. And then he could see himself being locked in the cellar until he was thirty.

He climbed out of the window, feet catching onto the thick knot of vines with easy. He climbed down as silently as he ever did and hit the ground. He scratched his head then looked up. Another two weeks before the moon and his dad transformation. He probably wouldn't stay this month, since his dad had Sirius with him.

Part of him cringed at the prospect of his father not wanting him around in favor of his…well, he wasn't sure what to call Sirius in relation to his dad. Logic dictated lover, but the idea in conjunction with his dad was a fairly icky one. Besides, the few almost…shy and chaste kisses he'd seem them share, the one from the first night, all told him they weren't sleeping together. And the fact he'd be able to smell them all over each other if they were also tipped him off.

He'd spent many a full moon beside his dad, just waiting out his transformation and being there to help him out of the cellar once the moon set. Not because he had to, his dad had kind of frowned on the idea when he was younger but no one had known how to make him stop (because he could throw quite the fit when he was so motivated.) but because he wanted to. It was what he had to do. His dad was a considerable amount calmer when he was present than he was without him. He didn't hurt himself like he used to.

He raked his hands through his hair, which hung loose from its usual braid. He didn't imagine he'd ever gotten it cut and, eventually, he'd have to remedy that. He knew his dad wouldn't be pleased, as the man was sentimental and fond of braiding his hair for him, but when Da wasn't around to help it with it was just a messy pain.

Chase liked it though.

He smiled wryly at the thought of his friend. Chase was, other than being his not-quite-boyfriend, his god brother and best friend. And he was…one of a kind. Safe to say Siri didn't know many boys who, in spite of having a father who was close to two meter's tall, were barely cleared one and a half-meters, painted their nails and got holes poked in their body when they were bored. (Some people found it odd that Chase's father would allow such erratic behavior, but Siri rather thought Severus found it amusing more than anything else. Much like his dad Severus just wanted Chase happy.)

His da said Chase was a lot like him when he was younger; rich, pampered, a touch jaded, and quite effectively bored out of his mind.

Truth be told Siri had a problem imaging his father as any of those things, excluding jaded, because his father was certainly a lot of that. But he had cause to be. From what Siri understood his dad had taken a lot of shit in his lifetime, but, after a momentary nervous breakdown, always got back up. Remus Lupin was pretty amazing that way. Nothing short of the apocalypse would stop him; or at least that's how Siri saw it.

He gave the man a hard time (He was, after all, a teenager. It was in his job description) but he was, honest to god, in awe of the of his dad. He did things Siri sincerely doubted he could ever do; putting up with the likes of him being the least of it.

Like how well his da handled the blood, bad and otherwise, between him and Uncle Severus. They had, for quite a few years, maintained a sort of…civility that bordered on unwilling friendship. Last year however that'd kind of been shot to hell, but from what Siri understood they were slowly gaining that old civility back.

He didn't get himself. They were so similar you'd have thought they'd get along very well.

----------------------------

June, 1992

"Have I mentioned how infuriating this is?" Remus asked, observing the portals before him. Snape turned and looked at him, gaze questioning. "I mean, we have five portals, five of them, leading to your various estates. And only one leading to my home."

"You're poor."

"I am aware of that." Remus muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. "I didn't need to be reminded."

"If you are already aware Lupin, perhaps you should whine less."

"It isn't fair. You're a professor and yet you're rich."

"I had the common sense to not defy my family until my parents were dead." Snape said, voice mild. "The same can't be said for you."

"My parents are still living you know."

Snape was silent a moment, then he nodded slowly. "That is bothersome isn't it?"

Remus rolled his eyes heavenward, staring at the stone ceiling of the cave they were standing in. Then he looked towards one of the six portals as a pair of laughing boys darted out of one only to run into another one. He sighed, shaking his head.

The portals were, to be technical, enchanted paintings of their home. (Or homes in Snape's case. Annoyingly rich bastard.) The paintings from inside of the cave lead to parts of their estate they were sure no one else would be able to find, and the ones on the other side lead back to the cave. Remus was loathe to admit it, but Snape had thought it up and it was turning out to be a pretty good idea. It saved on floo powder and the amount of whining Siri did when Remus wouldn't let him visit the other boy because he wasn't in the mood to deal with Snape. Now he could just send the boy off on his own and avoid the other man.

Though that wasn't really possible. Siri thought Snape brilliant and Remus had to admit that Chase was a very…intriguing boy.

"You didn't answer my question."

"Well, other than the fact I maintain a steady job, and my parents didn't disinherit me, two of those belong to Chase and his brother. I just keep them from falling apart."

Remus sighed. "I miss having money." Really he did. He missed the house elves, the servants, the people who did everything for him, and never having to think about a single thing in life; and when he did think it was never about bills and food and the like.

Snape quirked an eyebrow. "I suppose your freedom isn't worth it?"

"You're mocking me."

"Though it is one of my more enjoyable hobbies, no."

Remus was silent a moment then, before he could speak, his son tore out of one of the paintings and launched himself into his arms, giggling. Remus smiled, bemused, and wrapped an arm around Siri to keep them steady. Siri continued to laugh breathlessly while burying his face into Remus' neck. A moment later Chase ran out, ginger colored hair sticking to his head with sweat. He came to a halt before Remus and frowned.

"You're cheating."

"Yes." Siri agreed, grinning down at him. Chase looked frustrated for a moment, then shrugged, dismissing it.

"You want to come see my instrument?"

"Kay." And like that Remus found his arms very empty. Severus rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Don't break anything Chase."

"Yes Father." Chase said without even a moment's hesitation and Remus got the distinct feeling he wasn't listening at all.

"Chase-"

"Yes yes, don't break anything." The twelve-year-old stuck out his tongue and Remus saw a flash of fang. Apparently Snape was annoying him. Remus snorted, but instantly became straight faced when Snape glared at him.

"He's become insufferable since he started going to school."

Chase would be going for his second year at Brookridge Academy in September. Siri had been decidedly miserable the entire time the other boy was gone. Snape couldn't send Chase to Hogwarts, as he was a member of the staff and no one liked the child of a professor, but had chosen Brookridge because it was, in his own words, the second best school in the world.

Which reminded Remus.

"I suppose you had something to do with the acceptance letter to Brookridge Siri got." Remus couldn't help but be a little accusing. There was no way in hell a place like Brookridge would even look at his son without some serious coaxing. He was, as Snape so elegantly put it, poor. He hadn't even had a home for most of his son's life.

"What would make you think that?"

"Because Brookridge is the leading Pureblood academy in the world and Siri just barely fits the bill, with me being what I am. Everyone there is so rich they make most of the Pure students at Hogwarts look…well, poor. It's strictly people of your class, not mine."

Snape stared at him for a long moment then his lips quirked into what could be considered, for him, a smile. "That was quite the speech Lupin. You're right, as rare an occurrence as such a thing is, I may have pulled strings."

Remus glared. "I do not need your charity."

"It's quite a shame you can't live on pride alone. Never mind the fact I certainly don't consider you worthy of my charity. I assure you this is for my own peace of mind. Your son and my son will drive us both insane if we separate them and, considering our already fragile grasp on sanity, I'd rather not tempt the fates." That actually made sense. Remus could feel a serious blush coming on. "Besides, where would you send him? Toadstool, or Brewstroke?"

"Both of which are…decent schools." Remus muttered.

"The day I allow you to send my godson to a decent school will be an extremely cold day in hell." Snape's voice was almost emotionless, but Remus knew there was an underlying affection for Siri there. Snape meant it.

"Fine. But it says he was accepted because of his exceptional talents. What the hell are those?"

"How should I know? You're his father."

Remus closed his eyes for a moment. "Not to speak badly of my child, but he doesn't have any talents."

Snape nodded. "You should work on that."

"Yeah, thanks." Remus rubbed at his arm anxiously. "I wish he could go to Hogwarts." But of course he couldn't. At the moment as little contact between Harry and Remus, and by extension Siri, was what Dumbledore wanted and, considering everything the man had done for him, the least he could do was comply.

"We all wish a great many things Lupin. I wish my son would make friends, but he is adamant that Siri will be his only friend for the rest of his life."

"As long as they don't get married."

"I'll thank you to not joke about that kind of thing."

-------------------------

Remus sighed, sitting up and shuffling over to his window. His son was really overly optimistic if he thought for an instant Remus didn't know when he was and wasn't in the house. He rolled his eyes, watching the teen run into the woods.

Remus may have been blessed with an intelligent child, but he hadn't gotten on with much common sense, sadly. He figured, in a general sense, he shouldn't have allowed the boy to run around like this, but it wasn't like he didn't know where he'd be. He'd be where he always was, with Chase. And, in spite of his lack of common sense, Remus trusted Siri to not do anything overly idiotic.

…well, actually, he trusted Chase not to do anything overly idiotic. Chase was an extremely practical teenager, which Remus could only assume had come from growing up with a father like Snape, who was nothing short of disgustingly logical.

Excusing his deep seething hatred for Sirius of course. While Snape and Remus could get along just fine when only the two of them were concerned, the moment you added Sirius to the mix hell was sure to break loose. It made sense of course.

Snape and Remus were similar, after a fashion, and may have made a nice pair, in a different world. Snape and Sirius, however were almost opposite ends of the spectrum. Snape dealt in absolutes, logic, what was and was not…anything else was simply something he didn't have the time to waste with. Sirius' had always dwelled in a world of possibilities, what may and what could be one day, and let his heart tell him where to go. Remus loved that, a person not concerned with image or what was accepted…Sirius had truly marched to his own beat.

Snape hated that. The carefree Sirius of old had driven him mad, because he just couldn't and maybe would never

understand that. Then again, Sirius could be carefree when he was younger, because he'd had nothing to hide.

Snape and Remus had a lot in common, as scary a thought as that was, and at the top of that list was the fact they had to hide their true natures. Of course Snape had been a bastard in school and did everything in his power to find out what Remus' secret was, but when it really came down to it, it had been less something Snape wanted to do (which wasn't to say he hadn't, because he was a bastard) and more something he was compelled to do.

Vampires were quite horribly obsessive-compulsive and Snape's obsession had been finding Remus out. He was almost flattered, in a weird, sick, twisted sort of way.

Once he'd lost sight of his son Remus returned to his bed, but only sat on the edge and looked around blandly. Like most of the first floor it was almost exactly the same way it'd been prior to James and Lily dying. Sure, he'd had three years to throw out Sirius' things (and he had, to some of them) but he'd never been able to bring himself to get rid of the man completely.

Mostly because he couldn't. He could never purge Sirius from his life while he had Siri; it was just impossible. They had too many similarities for him to even begin trying to do that. So he'd dealt with it all. The bookshelf that held Sirius' books had been moved into what was now the guest room, along with his clothes and things, and Remus had more or less sealed the room off.

And now, ironically enough, Sirius was sleeping there…with all of his things. Almost like Remus had done it in preparation for his arrival, as opposed to just trying to move some things from his sight. And maybe he had done it, hoping he'd been back.

He wasn't going to lie, he'd always…hoped that maybe it wasn't true, that maybe Sirius would come back to him. He hadn't been able to help it, something inside of him wanted Sirius with him no matter what crimes he may have committed.

It was an urge that was part human, wanting the man he'd loved more than anything and had given up his family for, and part the wolf inside of him. It'd never been official, but Sirius had been the one the wolf chose as its mate and it could never have accepted anyone else in his place. The only thing the wolf could accept as a reason Sirius was gone was death, and since he'd known Sirius wasn't dead (Because if Sirius died he would have felt it. If he was sure of nothing else in life, he knew if Sirius died he would know it.) the wolf couldn't accept.

And really, in a technical sense, the lose of a mate meant death for a werewolf. If Sirius had died, he may have survived because, all those warm fuzzy feelings aside, they'd never actually made it official. Never spoke about it, because they'd never thought they'd have to.

They'd had forever.

Really, Snape had never had a chance. And he'd probably known it; if anyone would understand about monsters under the surface and what they craved, it'd be Snape. Remus had thought, for a time, that he could be with Snape, because Snape would understand the beast within.

But the beast didn't care for Snape much, or, rather, it hadn't cared for anyone trying to take Sirius' place. But, like most things over the past few years, Remus chalked it up to a learning experience. Sirius was it for him and anything else he'd done was simply because he had, once upon a time, been completely unable to take care of himself.

He had the strange urge to smoke. He'd never smoked himself, but Sirius had gone through a phase around the age of twenty. Remus hadn't practically liked the smell of it, but he'd found he kind of liked the smoky taste Sirius had taken on.

That was probably his subconscious trying to tell himself. Well, unvoiced desires be damned, he was not going to Sirius' room. He was gong to stay put. He wouldn't give in to temptation, he was stronger than this, he knew he was.

It'd taken a long time to be strong, but now that he was he…he didn't want to just give it up.

He chuckled wryly, realizing what was holding him to this room. (Damn crafty subconscious. Always got him in the end.) He wanted his continued independence and he couldn't help but wonder if accepting Sirius back as his lover would crush that. (Certainly not on purpose, as Sirius would never set out to 'crush' any part of him. Sirius had just always been the more...dominate party in their relationship, though neither had every acknowledged it.)

When Remus needed protecting from the Slytherins, Sirius was there to protect him. When Remus' parents were harassing him, Sirius was there to act as his reason to oppose them. When the Ministry came sniffing around to be annoying, Sirius had been there to scare the hell out them. When life got hard, Sirius had been his buffer, smoothing out the rough patches.

Sirius had, in his own kind and well meaning fashion, helped keep Remus what he'd been his entire life. A boy, and eventually man, who relied on others to do what he needed. When he was growing up his parents had controlled everything, up until his being bitten. And after that little slip in their control, they never faltered again. Everything was carefully structured and planned and Remus lived in a goddamn bubble for so many years, with people waiting on him and never giving him a chance to make a decision, that he'd become disinterested and kind of…expected such things.

Hence his bratty behavior.

When Sirius had left him and been disowned, Remus had been envious. He and his parents had been at odds since he'd joined up with James, Sirius, and Peter. James and Peter had never really indulged him like he was used to, and Lily certainly hadn't once she joined their fold, but Sirius (and he realized this now) would have slain dragons and stormed castles to please him.

So when Remus eventually left his parents, he'd known he'd have Sirius there to keep him safe and give him what he needed, because he was hopelessly incompetent. And when Sirius was gone he'd fallen apart, until Dumbledore had come along and tried to force him to be an adult.

He'd messed that up by making him live with Snape when the Ministry took away his house. Snape, due in part to being a vampire, had a sense of family and responsibility that almost put that of a werewolf to shame. He'd taken Remus in and had, quite effectively, put him back into a similar situation as when he'd lived with his parents, only he had the worlds loudest child to care for.

And he really hadn't done that well. He remembered the first time Siri started screaming at night and he hadn't known what to do. He'd eventually began to cry himself, utterly frustrated with the howling (and he meant howling in the literal sense) infant and the situation he was in.

Father of the year he hadn't been, to say the least of the matter.

Once things with Snape died he'd stayed at Hogwarts for a time then, finally, realized he had to take care of himself and his son. It'd been hard and frustrating, and he'd been sorely temped to crawl back to his parents and concede that there was no way in hell he could care for this child, he just wasn't strong enough to do it.

The thought of going to his parents, however, was so disgusting that he'd refrained from doing it until he got to a point where he could take care of himself, and would do it. He'd finally been able to do it himself and he hadn't needed anyone, and it had felt good.

For the first time he'd felt like…he was his own person. Liberated almost, able to make his own choices and raise his child and make himself a home (even if home was a hole in the wall apartment next to a prostitute, who frequently day-lighted as his babysitter.)

He didn't want to be the old Remus. And who was to say going back to Sirius wouldn't do that? He had the occasional lapse even know, wanting to cry out for someone to take his life and let him take a break because he couldn't bloody well do it anymore, who was the say climbing back into the arms of his former lover wouldn't be just the chance he needed.

Remus knew if he allowed it, Sirius would take everything out of his hands and work his damnedest to fix the world for him and make it perfect. That was just part of Sirius' personality. It was part of what Remus had been drawn to, and maybe fallen in love with.

He sighed and flopped back onto his bed, closing his eyes against the world for a moment. He didn't want to be that person again, but who was the say that things with Sirius would work if he wasn't?

Something inside of him said it would, but his brain was less than convinced.

Sure, he'd changed, and Sirius had changed, but who was to say that their relationship could handle such changes.

_Well, you certainly won't figure it out sitting there will you?_ A voice that sounded a disturbing amount like Siri asked, mocking painfully clear.

Hearing voices was usually the first sign he was suffering a breakdown, or lapse in sanity. But, at least, no one could ever accuse him of not knowing when he was losing it.

_And you have the nerve to call your son a slacker. Look at you, all of three meters from him and you're sitting on your arse analyzing the whole thing to death. It's no wonder you haven't slept with anyone in over ten years, you're a pain in the arse._

This was fantastic, a voice in his head was mocking him. He groaned and fell back on the bed, sighing.

He didn't remember when he lost his mind, but it became more apparent with each passing day that he had. Still, the voice had a point.

_Naturally._

Remus rolled his eyes, but stood up again and, glancing out of the window as he walked past it, walked out of the room. He was sure the voice was smirking, having won the 'battle' but Remus decided it was best to ignore it, least he start speaking to himself out loud. He hadn't quite transcended that level of insanity.

He rapped on Sirius' door, feeling his stomach clench anxiously. Part of him snickered, because he hadn't felt like this since he was sixteen. Sirius called out to him to come in and Remus pushed the door open, wondering why the other man still seemed to be side awake.

Sirius was sitting in a chair at the foot of his bed, feet on the mattress, and staring…well, at nothing. There wasn't really much to look at in here, except the walls.

Remus considered his options for a moment, trying to think about the best way to go about this. Deciding he was going to fix what was going on between them, and actually doing it were a touch different. Sirius looked over at him, eyebrow arching just so.

Remus hesitated only a moment then, deciding to be cautious some other time that wasn't today, walked over and bent down, kissing Sirius firmly. Sirius was still a moment, then returned the kiss and pulled him closer. In a matter of moments Remus was in the chair, straddling Sirius, and a hand, that he was almost positive wasn't his, was under his t-shirt. He reached up, burying his fingers into Sirius' hair and twisting the strands around his fingers.

Yes, he decided when blunt teeth tugged at his lip, that this was the perfect way to go about it.

Then Sirius drew back, taking a deep breath and Remus shifted and let his fingers drift over the other man's chest, tongue darting out to wet his lips. Then Sirius pushed him back and, taking the hint, Remus got up. He tugged the other man up and over to the bed, pushing Sirius back and climbing on top of him.

He kissed him again, tongue darting out to taste his lover, then sat up. "Sirius-"

"I swear Remus, if you decide this is a time to talk, I will kill you."

"And then you'll really be buggered, and probably not in a way you'd fancy." Remus said, voice sounding rough to his own ears. Sirius shrugged, apparently conceding the point. "And I just want to be clear on something before we do this."

"If this will move things along, then by all means." One of Sirius' hands was dancing over his leg, pushing his pajama pants leg up as he went. Remus smiled, but didn't protest.

"Things are going to change. Before I let you do everything and kind of came along for the ride."

Sirius blinked. "I wouldn't take it quite that far."

"Sirius I…I think I kind of grew up. I don't need you in the way I used to. Make no mistake, I still need you, but I don't want you to be my protector anymore, and I don't want to be some naïve kid you shield from the world. I want, and fully plan to be, my own person. I don't need you to hold my hand, make my plans, and decide what's best for me."

Sirius was silent for a moment, eyes looking over Remus' shoulder. Remus frowned, wondering if Sirius was upset, then the other man sighed.

"If this is a very elaborate way of asking to be on top, you could have asked years ago and I would have said yes. Variety being the spice of life and all that."

Remus laughed. "You're impossible!"

"Yes yes, I know. Scold me later."

---------------------------------

"I'll be sore for a week you know."

Remus snorted and rolled over so his back was facing Sirius. "You're welcome."

Sirius snorted and wrapped his arm around the other man, pulling Remus until they were pressed against each other. He nuzzled the brunettes neck, where the sweat was just starting to dry then licked the man's shoulder. Remus reached over and smacked him.

"Knock it off and go to sleep Sirius."

"Tired? Are you giving in to old age on me Remmie?"

Remus muttered what Sirius cold only assume were obscenities directed at him and, if he knew Remus, his entire genetic line. (Excluding their son no doubt.) Then the brunette sighed.

"You just wait, you incorrigible, insufferable, insatiable prick."

Sirius smirked against the other man's neck. "You have always said the sweetest things."

"God I hate you."

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KrazyKat: Well, to be fair, I actually like Snape. Remus/Snape is probably my third/fourth favorite pairing, after Remmie/Siri, Harry/Snape, and Ron/Harry. Plus, as you in this chapter, they relate to each other in ways I doubt Remus could relate to anyone else. (In this universe anyway…)

Siren: That was rather mean of him wasn't it? Calling the poor depressed werewolf a whore and all…but yeah. An extremely cute fungus… That's Siri. Scratches Siri behind the ears affectionately He just grows on everyone around him. Remus, Snape, Sirius…

Laura: Sirius doesn't feel that he has any place to protest what Remus may or may not have done while he was locked up. He's having self-worth issues at the moment, so he's trying to be accepting.

Moonglaze: It's because Remus is a werewolf. Siri is a half-breed, which is exactly what it sounds like trust me, and part of that is the ability to turn into a wolf pup.

Shadow: Aww. Thanks.

Mango: As always, glad you enjoy it.

Meh. It's done. I decided to break this stuff apart because after this chapter it takes a darker turn and it's less 'relationship' and more 'action' and…yeah. So Keep an eye out for the sequel.


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